![]() It’s her big day and hearing talk of her husband’s previous sexual partner would be an immediate downer.ĭon’t be too graphic – if necessary, use innuendoĮuphemism is your friend here. Does she look uncomfortable? It would be amazing if she didn’t. If you mention an ex of the groom, all eyes will be on the bride. But your aim should always be to keep it clean. Exceptions include quoting what someone has said or a brilliantly crude pun. So, I rarely include swearing in a wedding day speech. They might just feel uncomfortable and not laugh at all. ![]() But it’s usually people laughing in shock not because it’s witty. My full name is actually ‘Ollie would-you-like-a-drink’ For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.Swearing is tempting to use because you might get what’s called a reaction laugh. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Ollie and for those of you that do … well I apologise. “I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.” For those of you who don’t know Mike is actually one of the hairiest men in Britain, with that in mind I’d like to thank the staff at Chester Zoo’s Ape and Monkey House on Mike’s behalf for their help in getting him ready for today.” “Nobody ever seems to pay the Groom a compliment, I think you”ll all agree Mike is also looking pretty good. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.” I’ll admit to you that I’m extremely nervous right now. I didn’t have to try too hard though as there has been an outbreak of foot and mouth in the area.” “I was told specifically by Michelle to keep the groom’s ex-girlfriends away. On the one hand it is a great honour, but you dread the moment when you have to rise to perform.” “Being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. I know it’s irresponsible to drink before such a big occasion, but I couldn’t let the groom drink alone.” “If you could keep the clapping and yelling to a minimum today, I would appreciate it as I have a horrible hangover. So ladies and gentlemen – I give you Mr and Mrs Wyatt. “I read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn’t take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. Whoever bought the toast rack won't be able to hear this, as they're out in the car park.” My idea was to use the wedding present list, and put those who bought the biggest items nearest the front, and work it to the back, the smaller the gift. As best man, I offered to step in and help Paul and Linda. ![]() “Organizing the seating at a wedding reception can be a tricky business, prone to get political. “Unaccustomed to public speaking as I am, I have been fairly nervous before today’s speeches, however Gav was very good and took me aside to help calm me, he said if I did a really good job and went easy on him, I could be the best man at his next wedding.” If you have been asked to be best man, but still struggling to come up with the perfect speech, then let me help you! I have rounded up my top 10 best man speeches and quotes, which you can easily use as a foundation to build yours. I literally spent about 6 months perfecting it, with just under a month left until the big day, I am still tweaking it, but I think I am almost there. Not only did I have to plan the stag party, but I had to come up with my best man speech – which was easier said than done. Last year I was asked to be best man – of course I was thrilled, but at the same time I was shitting myself.
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